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Emotional Pain

Coping With Loneliness

Loneliness affects everyone whether it is a loss of a relationship, a partner who is away from home due to work or other commitments or the desire for a relationship that you have not experienced yet. We experience loneliness because we are social beings who are biologically programmed to be in a relationship. When the relationship aspect is missing, we feel lonely. Loneliness can be debilitati...
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When Late Becomes Too Late

April was a sad month. Some couples came to see me in the hopes of repairing their relationship, but they have left things to go to the point that extensive damage has occurred in their relationship. You cannot leave arguments, resentment and bitterness to build in a relationship without it poisoning that relationship. A word readily used to describe this is a toxic relationship. No matter what th...
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If You are Feeling Powerless Here is What You Need to Know

Time consists of three stages * The past * The present * The future The past is a collection of life experiences. They are unchangeable, set in stone. We can, however, focus on them, lament the fact that they happened and think about how life could be different if those things hadn't been part of our past. The future currently does not exist. Certainly, we can have a look at what's ...
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How to Turn around your Descent into Depression

In Alice in Wonderland, we saw Alice going down the rabbit hole, and down and down she went. However, unlike Alice in Wonderland, there is no wondrous land at the bottom of the Rabbit Hole of depression. In contrast, the further you go down the harder it is to get back out and the worst everything looks and becomes. Life experiences and our reaction to them cause us to evaluate the world bas...
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Does My Child Need to See a Counsellor?

The lives of children can be quite stressful – there’s the expectations of the school environment, study and exams, friendships and family relationships, and as the child gets older personal development, peer support and self-image. Then there’s the possibility of significant life events –an illness or a death in the family, parents separating and relationship breakups. Some of these events most p...
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How to Stop Re-occurring Relationship Problems

You are born into this world into the arms of your parents (caregivers). Your parents will be your caregivers, teachers, coaches, providers, and protectors until you are ready to leave home. They respond appropriately to you ensuring that your needs are meet both physically and emotionally. As you grow, you use this secure base to explore the world and become independent. You grow into an adult wh...
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Five Stages of a Relationship – Which one are you at?

  Ellyn Bader, Ph.D., and her husband, Dr. Peter Pearson, are founders and directors of The Couples Institute and creators of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. I have found their model very useful in helping couples to understand the basis of their relationship issues. The Development Model shows relationships going through five stages. The stage that you are at indicates ...
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Did You Believe this Lie?

One of the greatest lies ever told is that we are ordinary or average. We are never ordinary or average. Each one of us has talents and skills to use to follow a path which will then enrich our lives and those around us. Society, in general, would like us to believe external acquisitions are the way to measure success. As a result, we constantly compare ourselves to those around us who we see a...
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How to Heal Shame

Please Read Is Shame Limiting Your Success?  Before Reading This Blog Post Shame ingrains itself into our being. It doesn't repair quickly, but the benefits of nullifying the effects of shame are worth the effort. Because this is not an easy road, it is recommended that you have a support system in place including a professional such as a counsellor. Shame is very much internalised. We have ...
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Is Shame Limiting Your Success?

What is Shame? Shame is an inner experience. It is a sense of not being wanted, unlovable, and a belief that one is fundamentally bad producing a feeling of not belonging. Thoughts such as I'm stupid, I'm a failure, I'm defective, I'm not good enough, and I hate myself abound. There is an assumption that shame must be denied, minimised or endured. The process of doing this results in the cre...
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