How we feel about ourselves has a dramatic effect on how we interact with others. It affects how we view what is happening in our relationships. If we have a poor opinion of ourselves and believe that things often go wrong for us, we are more likely to interpret things that happen in our relationships as being negative. This usually results in us reacting in a way that makes the situation worst. Taking the time to address how we see ourselves, can result in positive improvement in our relationships.
We often hear the terms self-confidence and self-esteem used. Are they the same or different?
Self-confidence is a measure of how we feel about ourselves. It is also a measurement of our abilities and so changes according to situations. We may feel confident in some situations but not in others.
It relates to how we recall past events. If we recall past successes rather than failures, we are more likely to feel confident about handling a new situation.
Self-esteem refers to whether we appreciate and value ourselves. The two of course overlap to some degree. Having a healthy self-esteem increases self-confidence.
Early life experiences influence the development of healthy self-esteem. Having good experiences while growing up, is likely to lead to the development of healthy self-esteem. Many negative experiences are more likely to result in the development of poor self-esteem. This, in turn, hampers the development of self-confidence.
How self-confidence and self- esteem affects our perception of what happens to us
A negative experience becomes a confirmation of incompetence when viewed by somebody with low self-esteem and low self-confidence. A person with healthy self-esteem, who encounters the same negative experience, sees it differently. They will instead try to understand how they can improve the outcome next time. They will not see it as a sign of incompetence.
The negative experience acts as a trigger for memories. If you have little self-confidence, the memories recalled are of similar negative events. The perception becomes one of incompetence, and this leads to negative self-talk. Negative self-talk further lowers self-esteem which in turn reduces self-confidence. Low self-confidence stops you from trying. Encountering more disappointing results starts the cycle again.
The Importance of self-esteem and self-confidence
Little confidence and self-esteem results in a downwards spiral that turns life into hell. It can affect you in certain areas of your life or can have a wide-ranging effect. Low self-esteem and self-confidence manifest in some commonly observed effects. Shyness, poor communication skills and a lack of assertiveness are good examples.
How to Improve Self-Confidence
Self-esteem is associated with self-confidence. Positive and negative experiences have a strong influence on self-confidence. To improve self-confidence we need to increase positive experiences and reduce negative experiences.
I will show you how to discover
1. Your skills
2. Your talents
3. Your strengths
4. What you are passionate about
5. Your top 3 values
6. How to increase positive experiences and reduce negative experiences in your life
Find out how I can support you in a 15-minute obligation free phone call. Call me on 07 34581725.
Specialising in Relationship Repair