I am going to show you how we get stuck in patterns or as people often say get stuck in a rut. Once you understand what I am about to share you will also start to understand how you can become unstuck.
Every human being has belief systems. Our belief systems develop over our lifetime. It starts with what we learn from the family into which we are born. When we move out into the world, our belief systems become refined in response to circumstances that we are faced with until we reach our current age with a well-developed belief system. This belief system acts as a filter when we look at and experience the world.
Because our belief system acts as a filter, we only see the information that supports our belief system. There is a vast array of information which is available to us in any given situation. But as we look at all of that information, we only acknowledge a subset of it. We only see what we believe, and then we have a response to what we see both regarding what we think and how we feel. From that response of thoughts and feeling, we take action.
Without gradually changing our belief systems, we will not see the additional information which can aid us to have a different reaction, a different action and corresponding different results. Therefore, we stay trapped in the same pattern or the same rut. It is not that we can’t make a change it is more that we don’t have the awareness that we need to make the change.
When people come to me, they sometimes say they have resisted reaching out for help because they should be able to fix this themselves. This thought, however, overlooks the fact that without assistance they may never change their awareness and without that change, they can never start to change their beliefs. Without changing their beliefs, they can never see the information they need to make the changes that they want in their lives.
Have you ever wondered why two people could look at the same thing and each draw a different conclusion? Their beliefs are causing them only to see certain parts of the information. Have you ever wondered why two people can see the same car accident and yet each has a different account of how it happened? Their beliefs are causing them only to see certain parts of the information that is available.
To develop different beliefs, you need
A willingness to change
A willingness to work with someone who can bring you new awareness about things
A willingness to work with someone who can challenge you on your current beliefs
A willingness to learn strategies that help you do all this by yourself
Our beliefs and their effect on how we see and interpret our world affects every aspect of our lives. As a relationship specialist, I see the impact on relationships when two beliefs systems clash and cause the relationship to become boring and stuck.
Fortunately, there are ways to become unstuck and build the quality relationship that you want. Want to know more book a complimentary 15 min session with me by clicking here.
© Tracey Janke – StartPoint Counselling 2018