Eight Connection Tips to Restore Your Relationship Even if You are Busy
Most of us would like life to be fun and enjoyable. But in the pursuit of fun and enjoyment, several responsibilities come into our lives such as work, family, and day to day activities that we need to do to live. To juggle everything, it is tempting to focus on the seemingly urgent and to ignore those things that don’t seem to be as pressing.
Unfortunately, our relationship usually falls into this nonurgent category because we believe it will maintain itself and always be there. However, without a focus on our relationships, cracks start to appear, and without attention, the cracks will keep getting bigger.
Eventually, those cracks in our relationship start screaming, leaving us with the problem of trying to maintain everything else we do as well as addressing the deteriorating state of our relationship.
Talk about overload. Without attention, these relationship problems often end up destroying the relationship resulting in one of you leaving. Even if the relationship is not destroyed you end up with an uncomfortable situation that drains the energy out of you.
So what strategies are available to us to maintain and strengthen our relationships in a time-challenged world? Fortunately, there are several that are effective if we are willing to make some small changes.
In my last blog post, I gave you seven connection tips for busy people. These strategies are focused on providing you results in your relationship by undertaking some simple steps which take a minimal amount of time. Those steps were
- Text during the workday
- What busy things can you do together
- 10-minute talk
- Hello and goodbye
- Show appreciation
- Talk about how you are feeling
Now I’m going to introduce you to eight more strategies. These are next level strategies in that they will require a little bit more effort, but the payoff from incorporating them into your relationship will be enormous.
- Ask yourself some questions.
- When do I feel most connected?
- When does my partner feel most connected to me? Don’t just assume the answer to this question but also ask your partner and see what they have to say.
- What are you doing when you both feel most connected?
Use the answers as strategies you can put into place
- Set boundaries around how much time you are prepared to allocate to
- Obligations and responsibilities
- Relationship and family
- Rest on a personal basis
If you don’t determine this balance, it will be established for you by the seeming urgency of the things around you. Notice I said seeming urgency it doesn’t mean they are urgent. There are a lot of things that appear to be critical when they are not.
- Set a weekly check-in time – make a time that you both can sit down talk about the events of the week and make any plans that need to be made for the coming week. This ensures that you are both on the same page and both aware of what each other is doing
- Know what’s coming up for each of you and be there to support your partner at that time. Remembering important things in your partner’s life and taking an interest in them shows that you care and will foster a sense of connection.
- Remember little details that are of interest to your partner. This is a variation on the number four. Remembering the things that are of interest to your partner, talking about them, and using the information in planning things will endure you to your partner
- Schedule dates and stick to them. Time together doing things that you both want to do is a recognised form of intimacy.
- Schedule small amounts of time to do things together. There of lots of things that you can do together that only require a short amount of time. The key here is together. Examples include playing a board game/cards and watching a TV/Netflix show.
- Make sacrifices for your relationship – what is more important to you? All these strategies will require small sacrifices in terms of time and sometimes money. But
- What is your priority?
- What do you want?
- How important is your relationship to you?
- How good can your relationship be if you applied these strategies?
Only you can decide.
For busy couples, we have developed the Bring Back the Spark Program a self–paced learning program supported by face to face counselling/coaching designed to assist couples in discovering how to heal the cracks in their relationship despite a busy lifestyle.