Do This First If You Want a More Fulfilling Relationship

It is very difficult to arrive at a destination if you don't know where you are going. If I gave you a box and asked you to deliver it to a town out west, you wouldn't simply accept that. You would want to know more details including the name of the town, the street, the street number and to whom you were delivering. However, when it comes to the things that we want in our relationships, we tend ...
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Willpower is not Enough – How to Succeed

            Often failure in life is blamed on a lack of willpower. There is, however, increasing evidence that what you "see” happening is what is holding you back. Albert Einstein once said “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” How often have you heard people say “I can’t imagine……… happening “ Most people struggle to imagine...
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Self-Care – Is it Selfish?

The Importance of Self-Care If you can’t take care of yourself first, then you will have nothing left to give to others or to put it another way, if you don’t have it, you can’t give it. Self-Care, Cars and Fuel We go to the petrol station and put petrol in our car then it goes fine until the tank runs empty. When it does, our car has got nothing left to give and stops. To make sure that ...
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If You Deserve Something Why Don’t You Have It?

It is common to hear people complain that they work so hard, try everything that they know but can never seem to get ahead. Asked if they deserve to succeed, they say of course they do. But if that is true why don’t they have what they want? We can be convinced logically that we deserve good things in our life but on a deeper level we don’t believe it. The result is us not experiencing the very...
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Coping With Loneliness

Loneliness affects everyone whether it is a loss of a relationship, a partner who is away from home due to work or other commitments or the desire for a relationship that you have not experienced yet. We experience loneliness because we are social beings who are biologically programmed to be in a relationship. When the relationship aspect is missing, we feel lonely. Loneliness can be debilitati...
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Are Smartphones Damaging Your Relationship?

Smartphone usage is becoming an addiction for many people. So much so that there is now a term for it "Nomophobia" which is the fear of being without a mobile device or out of mobile contact. The addiction exists because of the reinforcing effect of smartphone usage. Compulsive dependence on smartphones appears to deliver a dopamine hit for the brain and dopamine is closely connected to the mo...
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The Answer to this Question Determines What Happens Next

As human beings, we are biologically programmed to be in a relationship, but we are also programmed for self-protection. In many relationships, a tug-of-war exists between these two programs with self-protection often winning out. Because we know that not all relationships are beneficial for us, we approach any relationship with one question in mind. This is a question that we are not conscious...
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When Late Becomes Too Late

April was a sad month. Some couples came to see me in the hopes of repairing their relationship, but they have left things to go to the point that extensive damage has occurred in their relationship. You cannot leave arguments, resentment and bitterness to build in a relationship without it poisoning that relationship. A word readily used to describe this is a toxic relationship. No matter what th...
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If You are Feeling Powerless Here is What You Need to Know

Time consists of three stages * The past * The present * The future The past is a collection of life experiences. They are unchangeable, set in stone. We can, however, focus on them, lament the fact that they happened and think about how life could be different if those things hadn't been part of our past. The future currently does not exist. Certainly, we can have a look at what's ...
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How to Turn around your Descent into Depression

In Alice in Wonderland, we saw Alice going down the rabbit hole, and down and down she went. However, unlike Alice in Wonderland, there is no wondrous land at the bottom of the Rabbit Hole of depression. In contrast, the further you go down the harder it is to get back out and the worst everything looks and becomes. Life experiences and our reaction to them cause us to evaluate the world bas...
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