How to Get Unstuck and Out of the Rut

I am going to show you how we get stuck in patterns or as people often say get stuck in a rut. Once you understand what I am about to share you will also start to understand how you can become unstuck. Every human being has belief systems. Our belief systems develop over our lifetime. It starts with what we learn from the family into which we are born. When we move out into the world, our belie...
Read More

How to Painlessly Communicate What You Want and Need to Your Partner

Identifying what it is that you are looking for in your relationship is a good first step because most people don’t do this. While they don’t clearly define their expectations, on some level, they’re aware that they’re not getting something met in the relationship. This is what I call unspoken expectations. By making a list of what you want in your current relationship those unspoken expectations ...
Read More

Dealing with Christmas and New Year Overwhelm

Christmas and New Year seems like a demanding time of year. There are presents to buy, food to organise, the house to prepare for visitors or travel to be with family and so on. There are so many things that you must focus on. With this, all comes the feeling of overwhelm, exhaustion and the inevitable change in your mood. The key thing to understand at these times is that we are the most power...
Read More

Resolving the Impact of the Past on Your Relationship

In a relationship facing difficulties, it is common that each partner believes that the other partner is largely responsible for the issues that they have. This is often heard in phrases like “if only you could” or “if only they didn’t” then things would be better. The idea that one partner is heavily contributing to the relationship problems is generally based on the belief that we are normal and...
Read More

I Love My Partner, But I Am Not in Love with Them

I love my partner, but I am not in love with them, is a common statement that I hear during my work with couples. What exactly do we mean when we say this? The first thing we need to understand is that the word love has multiple meanings and the way we determine what love means is from the context in which it is used. For example, I can use the word love three times in a s...
Read More

Do This First If You Want a More Fulfilling Relationship

It is very difficult to arrive at a destination if you don't know where you are going. If I gave you a box and asked you to deliver it to a town out west, you wouldn't simply accept that. You would want to know more details including the name of the town, the street, the street number and to whom you were delivering. However, when it comes to the things that we want in our relationships, we tend ...
Read More

Willpower is not Enough – How to Succeed

            Often failure in life is blamed on a lack of willpower. There is, however, increasing evidence that what you "see” happening is what is holding you back. Albert Einstein once said “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” How often have you heard people say “I can’t imagine……… happening “ Most people struggle to imagine...
Read More

Self-Care – Is it Selfish?

The Importance of Self-Care If you can’t take care of yourself first, then you will have nothing left to give to others or to put it another way, if you don’t have it, you can’t give it. Self-Care, Cars and Fuel We go to the petrol station and put petrol in our car then it goes fine until the tank runs empty. When it does, our car has got nothing left to give and stops. To make sure that ...
Read More

If You Deserve Something Why Don’t You Have It?

It is common to hear people complain that they work so hard, try everything that they know but can never seem to get ahead. Asked if they deserve to succeed, they say of course they do. But if that is true why don’t they have what they want? We can be convinced logically that we deserve good things in our life but on a deeper level we don’t believe it. The result is us not experiencing the very...
Read More

Coping With Loneliness

Loneliness affects everyone whether it is a loss of a relationship, a partner who is away from home due to work or other commitments or the desire for a relationship that you have not experienced yet. We experience loneliness because we are social beings who are biologically programmed to be in a relationship. When the relationship aspect is missing, we feel lonely. Loneliness can be debilitati...
Read More