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Change

What Creates Change and What Kills it

There are three phases to time as we know it. There is the past, the present and the future. The past is what has happened, it is set in stone and you can't change it. The present moment is the very moment that we are in now and then there is the future which basically hasn't happened yet. In the present, we can choose to make changes. We can't change the future because it hasn't happened...
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Three Steps to Making Change

There are three parts to making a change.   Firstly I need to believe that I CAN. Without believing that I CAN, obviously, I cannot. I need to be in a place where my beliefs at least support me starting on the journey.   I WILL is me making the choice to change. Not just knowing that I can, but making a positive decision that I will take the actions I need to take. Saying I...
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What do you want in 2019?

We are now a few days into 2019 so the enthusiasm of the start of the New Year is probably waning a little bit and the cold hard truth that this is just another year is starting to set in. Same old, same old. But you can change that if you want to. If you want this to be a different year you need to take the first step and clearly define what you want in 2019. I don't mean just some sort of gen...
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Willpower is not Enough – How to Succeed

            Often failure in life is blamed on a lack of willpower. There is, however, increasing evidence that what you "see” happening is what is holding you back. Albert Einstein once said “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” How often have you heard people say “I can’t imagine……… happening “ Most people struggle to imagine...
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Self-Care – Is it Selfish?

The Importance of Self-Care If you can’t take care of yourself first, then you will have nothing left to give to others or to put it another way, if you don’t have it, you can’t give it. Self-Care, Cars and Fuel We go to the petrol station and put petrol in our car then it goes fine until the tank runs empty. When it does, our car has got nothing left to give and stops. To make sure that ...
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If You Deserve Something Why Don’t You Have It?

It is common to hear people complain that they work so hard, try everything that they know but can never seem to get ahead. Asked if they deserve to succeed, they say of course they do. But if that is true why don’t they have what they want? We can be convinced logically that we deserve good things in our life but on a deeper level we don’t believe it. The result is us not experiencing the very...
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The Answer to this Question Determines What Happens Next

As human beings, we are biologically programmed to be in a relationship, but we are also programmed for self-protection. In many relationships, a tug-of-war exists between these two programs with self-protection often winning out. Because we know that not all relationships are beneficial for us, we approach any relationship with one question in mind. This is a question that we are not conscious...
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When Late Becomes Too Late

April was a sad month. Some couples came to see me in the hopes of repairing their relationship, but they have left things to go to the point that extensive damage has occurred in their relationship. You cannot leave arguments, resentment and bitterness to build in a relationship without it poisoning that relationship. A word readily used to describe this is a toxic relationship. No matter what th...
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If You are Feeling Powerless Here is What You Need to Know

Time consists of three stages * The past * The present * The future The past is a collection of life experiences. They are unchangeable, set in stone. We can, however, focus on them, lament the fact that they happened and think about how life could be different if those things hadn't been part of our past. The future currently does not exist. Certainly, we can have a look at what's ...
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How to Turn around your Descent into Depression

In Alice in Wonderland, we saw Alice going down the rabbit hole, and down and down she went. However, unlike Alice in Wonderland, there is no wondrous land at the bottom of the Rabbit Hole of depression. In contrast, the further you go down the harder it is to get back out and the worst everything looks and becomes. Life experiences and our reaction to them cause us to evaluate the world bas...
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