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6 Ways to Beat the Stress of Uncertainty

Uncertainty is something that we experience individually first, but then it affects our relationships as our anxiety and frustrations grow. Whatever I can change on an individual level will bring about a change on a relationship level as well. How I am coping is not just my problem, but it becomes an overall problem for my relationship. Uncertainty is not only an individual problem but also ...
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The Second Horseman is CONTEMPT Contempt is the actions that convey the sense to another that they are worthless or beneath our consideration. It shows up when we make statements that come from a position of us being morally superior. Some good examples of this are name-calling, mockery, sarcasm, eye-rolling and degrading or hostile humour. Contempt is regarded to be destructive an...
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The Gottman Institute talks about Four Horsemen, which indicate that a relationship is starting to fail. It’s worth being aware of these Four Horsemen and know how to counteract them as they creep into your relationship. Once they get a hold, then frustration, anger and resentment follow them. The earlier that they are addressed, the easier the transition back to a satisfying relationship....
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Who Am I?

Who Am I? While life follows a safe routine day-to-day, and I know what I'm doing and what's likely to happen, I have a certain degree of security and an idea of who I am. However, life is currently changing, and we are not quite sure where it can end up or indeed, how it is going to look. This brings with it a great deal of uncertainty. When we strike uncertainty, we are left with h...
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Is This the Most Controversial Post I Have Written?

We usually associate grief with the loss of someone close to us. However, grief is also related to the loss of anything that you love such as a relationship, employment, family roles, or anything else that defines who you are as a person. The advent of coronavirus means that many things in our society have changed. Some people have lost jobs resulting in a loss of their sense of who they are. ...
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Moving Out of Your Comfort Zone Safely

To achieve the things that you want in your relationship or your personal life, you will need to move out of your present comfort zone and make some changes. Moving out of your comfort zone is never easy as it feels unsafe and in general "Yuk". THIS STEP WILL MAKE IT EASIER.  www.startpointcounselling.com.au 07 3458 1725
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How to Rebuild Broken Trust

In my previous articles I looked at How to Strengthen Trust in Your Relationship and Three Reasons Why it is Difficult to Move on After There is Broken Trust. Click on the links to read these articles if you missed them. In this article I will explain how to rebuild broken trust in your relationship. Broken trust in a relationship cannot be fixed by confining the problem to the past and moving...
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Three Reasons Why it is Difficult to Move on After There is Broken Trust

Every case of broken trust impacts us on three levels, and the damage on each of these levels is what holds us back from healing the broken trust and moving on. It doesn’t matter whether the broken trust is real or perceived; impact occurs on these three levels. The Emotional Level For everything that happens in our lives whether good or bad we have an emotional reaction. Every experience that w...
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How to Strengthen Trust in Your Relationship

Two types of trust can exist in a relationship Firstly, there is conditional trust which says I trust you only when I’m having a good experience. If I’m not having a good experience, then I don’t feel that you have my back and I don’t feel safe.  The result is I don’t trust you. Conditional trust is found in the early stages of a relationship. Relationships based on conditional trust are easily b...
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Expectations – the Power to Build or Destroy a Relationship

Nobody does anything in this life without starting with expectations about how it should work. From the moment that we get up in the morning until we go to bed, we are constantly having expectations about our day. We expect that we can get to work without having an accident, we have expectations about traffic conditions, expectations about how much work we can get done in the day and so on. Des...
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