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Relationships

HOW TO HALT THE FOUR HORSEMAN OF TOXIC COMMUNICATION – Part Three

The Third Horseman is DEFENSIVENESS Defensiveness is a self-protection mechanism which comes out in the form of moral outrage or evoking a sense of victimhood in an attempt to fend off a perceived attack. People often become defensive when they believe they are being criticized (First Horseman of Toxic Communication). Defensiveness is a way to push the problem away but it never helps to...
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6 Ways to Beat the Stress of Uncertainty

Uncertainty is something that we experience individually first, but then it affects our relationships as our anxiety and frustrations grow. Whatever I can change on an individual level will bring about a change on a relationship level as well. How I am coping is not just my problem, but it becomes an overall problem for my relationship. Uncertainty is not only an individual problem but also ...
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HOW TO HALT THE FOUR HORSEMAN OF TOXIC COMMUNICATION – Part Two

The Second Horseman is CONTEMPT Contempt is the actions that convey the sense to another that they are worthless or beneath our consideration. It shows up when we make statements that come from a position of us being morally superior. Some good examples of this are name-calling, mockery, sarcasm, eye-rolling and degrading or hostile humour. Contempt is regarded to be destructive an...
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HOW TO HALT THE FOUR HORSEMAN OF TOXIC COMMUNICATION – Part One

The Gottman Institute talks about Four Horsemen, which indicate that a relationship is starting to fail. It’s worth being aware of these Four Horsemen and know how to counteract them as they creep into your relationship. Once they get a hold, then frustration, anger and resentment follow them. The earlier that they are addressed, the easier the transition back to a satisfying relationship....
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How to Avoid Destroying your Relationship during Lockdown and Quarantine

You have two choices in this time of lockdown. It can be a period of significant growth for your relationship, or it can be a period of great struggle. To date, our relationships have survived well because we can have time outside of the family home. We go to work, and we have hobbies which allow us to have a time of separation from our partners. However, in the current lockdown enviro...
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Lessons Learned on Holidays Contain the Power to Revolutionise our Relationships

Without the pressure of work, regular family routines and other responsibilities we relax and start to engage in different activities. Some of these activities result in improved self-care and improved relationships. if only you could take these benefits back into your non-holiday life and reap the benefits.  Well you can and I explain how in this short 3-minute video (C) StartPoin...
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Moving Out of Your Comfort Zone Safely

To achieve the things that you want in your relationship or your personal life, you will need to move out of your present comfort zone and make some changes. Moving out of your comfort zone is never easy as it feels unsafe and in general "Yuk". THIS STEP WILL MAKE IT EASIER.  www.startpointcounselling.com.au 07 3458 1725
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Why Can't My Partner Understand Me?

Why can't my partner understand where I am coming from? Why do we disagree on so many things? Why can't they see common sense? Your questions answered in this 5-minute video. https://youtu.be/f59UKq1TrEs Want to learn how to be understood and how to better understand your partner? Check out my guide to better communication - https://www.startpointcounselling.com.au/index.php/the-a...
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Eight Connection Tips to Restore Your Relationship Even if You are Busy

Eight Connection Tips to Restore Your Relationship Even if You are Busy Most of us would like life to be fun and enjoyable. But in the pursuit of fun and enjoyment, several responsibilities come into our lives such as work, family, and day to day activities that we need to do to live. To juggle everything, it is tempting to focus on the seemingly urgent and to ignore those things that ...
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